NILL FAMILY news

Two weeks until move day. I’m happy to report, the dining room is just about all packed up. I realized last night as I tucked the last of the wine glasses in their boxes that I never did get around to posting the updates we did in there. And now it’s gone forever. [Twinge of regret/moment of silence.]

Anyway, our move out process, as far as I’m concerned, has three phases. I’ve completed Phase I: Sell anything worth selling. Back at Trapelo Road, we had a yard sale and raked in over $700 for stuff we have never even missed. But physical, location-based yard sales are sooo over. Most of the towns in my area have online Facebook groups that serve the same purpose. I am a member of the Belmont, Waltham and Watertown sites and here is how it works.

Take a picture of your item and post it, noting the condition, price, and any other relevant details. Then wait for people to comment! I’ll say, it’s been very interesting to see what sells. And when you have something that is a good price, the comments pop up almost immediately. Here’s an example of what it looks like:

Jason would not even consider letting me hire movers because the ones I picked last time were the slowest, scrimpiest guys you’ve ever seen. So we have this big pod, and actually are allowed to start moving stuff on the 20th, so between random trips over there and the pod going on the 30th, we’ll make it. We have to.

But gosh, things have been such a mess. I just think it’s so funny. We patted ourselves on the back when we sold Trapelo Road, knowing we were getting out *just* in time for the massive roadway reconstruction that had been approved. I thought, we are going to move to this house on this little quiet side street and it’s going to be nice and peaceful. Little did we know. Oh, just how little did we know.

Last year they ripped up the entire road to replace the gas main. THEN, they knocked down the house across the street in January and it is STILL not finished. For the last nine months we have looked at construction vehicles of varying sizes and shapes out our front window building a massive front-back two-family house.

Fun fact: the little bungalow on the right side of those pictures? We just found out that’s being knocked down too (by the same contractor) and a similar structure will be going up.

As if the dirt and noise from this project wasn’t enough, last month they started in with the water main replacement.

A lot of the time our street is blocked off. I picked up Ashton from school last week and we had to park around the corner and walk up.

Notice the phone pole on the right hand side. That’s been a “temporary fix” for like a year. It’s all just a huge mess with the vibrating, the drilling, the beeping, the pounding, etc. We are told that next year the entire road is going to be repaved and new sidewalks and granite curbs put in. It will be gleaming and brand new but fortunately/unfortunately, we will not be around to enjoy it.

My mantra for the next few weeks is “embrace the chaos”. The house will be a mess and the street will be a mess and that’s just how it is. In the end, it’s all for the better. And one of the great things about being forced to go through your stuff is finding things you forgot you had. Like a massage gift certificate. Like maybe it would be a good time to use that, if I could figure out when to go. Until then…

As I watch Ashton and Alex grow, I honestly do try and live in the moment, cherishing their ages and knowing that I will someday look back on all the messy chaos with a fondness for days gone by. Their little happy faces, Alex’s chubby legs and electric blond hair. These are my babies.

They will never be any smaller than they are at this minute. It’s enough to bring tears to my eyes.

I have already had a taste of the nostalgia: there are several bins in the basement that house teeny tiny clothes that the boys wore about a hundred years ago. Teeny tiny clothes that will not be worn by any more babies of mine. Officially.

It’s been a crazy month for us on many levels. Our buyers got the clear to close and we signed the P&S on our new house. We have a big day coming on September 30, which means it’s time to start getting ready to go. In preparation for packing, I have been in complete clear out mode for the past couple of weeks. I look at a particular item and ask myself, “Do we need it? Have we used it? Will we ever use it again?” If the answer is no to any of these questions, it’s gone and therefore we don’t have to move it. I am a member of several Facebook buy/sell groups and I can’t believe how much I have sold! And…a lot of the stuff is…baby stuff (sniffle). This move has really forced me to answer that “Will we ever use it again?” question when it comes to this category of belongings. I am confident now that the answer is no – Ashton and Alex are it for us (insert a dizzily happy face and also a sobbing mess face). So, the toys, swings, jumpers, swaddle blankets and anything having to do with babies? All gone to new homes. I even sold my breastpump and all the bottles and spare parts.

While our move is the impetus for this blog post, I have been thinking for a long time now that I am done having babies and for many reasons.

1. We are blessed with two healthy boys. What if we had a third and weren’t so lucky? I don’t worry about having enough love for another baby, no matter what the case, but I’m afraid of the immense challenges and heartache it could bring. I am much more scared of this than I was when we had Ashton and Alex, I’m not sure why. Perhaps because I feel like asking for another perfect baby would be tempting the fates.
2. We’d be outnumbered. I know, I know. Kids are little for a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, but I barely manage with two. I cannot see past trying to get three kids to the grocery store, or to the beach, or to bed every night for that matter!
3. In the same vein, even though it’s only for the first year, it’s 365 straight days of breastfeeding, pumping, and exhaustion from all the middle-of-the-night wakeups. But that’s 365 days AFTER you’ve been pregnant for 266! Been there, done that. Twice. “Body for one, please.”
4. There’s enough people in this world already.
5. What if it’s a girl? I’d need ALL new stuff. What if it’s a boy? Because, three boys! It’s a no win situation that’s what.

So, no more babies. I’m excited to look ahead now. The days where our schedules are not ruled by naptime(s), tantrums, diapers, sleep-training, messy highchairs, baby-proofing etc. are much closer than if we were planning to start all over again for a third time.

The boys and I meander around the neighborhood and down to the playground every day. They walk beside me, one to my left and one to my right, and I have a hand for each. My two little peas, my perfect number.

Today Ashton starts in the 4 year old class at his preschool! While it’s certainly another milestone, it’s not as big a deal as last year when it was his first day of school, like, ever. At this point, it is looking like he will have another year after this in transitional kindergarten – he is an August birthday and we are almost positive we’ll hold him back. But, where that school will be, who knows. We have a lot of transitions coming up with our move at the end of the month. My thoughts right now are that, come October, he’ll go down to three full days at Belmont Nursery School and will commute in with me (Bentley is only about a mile from BNS). I just don’t have time to tour new schools in Natick/Weston/Wayland at the moment. Anyway that is the end of this very brief post 🙂

Just a little house update for everyone. I can’t remember where we left off with the sale of our house, but we’ve had the inspection and appraisal done and things are moving forward. Our close date is (fast!) approaching and Jason and I have been all over the place with the question of “where are we going to go next?” We have had a pretty wide search area that was basically all of Boston’s metrowest: Belmont, Lexington, or Newton ideally, but extended to include Weston, Wayland, Needham, Wellesley and Natick. Sundays have been spent at open houses and we even checked out the Watertown Mews in case we couldn’t find a new home. Spending the winter in a luxury apartment with no shoveling and a free indoor gym with free yoga didn’t sound too bad to me.

My main sticking point with moving has been facing the loss of my current commute. It is 2.1 miles, I drop Ashton off at preschool on the way, I then get to pick him up at 12, bring him home and have lunch, see Alex etc. When I leave work at 4:30 pm, I am home by 4:40. This aspect of my life as a mom has been one of the single greatest things. Plus our nanny Jen lives two streets away and she has single-handedly kept me sane by always being there when I need her, even if it’s for 30 minutes.

So you can understand that every time Jason wanted to go see a house in Natick (where he was convinced our next home would be), I would trudge along, arms crossed and remind him, “But I’m not moving to Natick.”

Yes, Natick has great schools. Yes, and tons of shopping. Yes, it is super family friendly. Yes, there is Memorial Beach and Lake Cochituate and farms and everyone who lives there loves it. But it’s, like, far! That monstrous fact, plus that there were no houses that even remotely spoke to me, meant I was simply not moving there. In my heart I truly thought we would be renting, because there isn’t really a lot on the market right now in any of the towns we had targeted (unless our budget was a million dollars, which it wasn’t).

Until. UNTIL…last Thursday, another house in Natick came on the market. In typical fashion, I sighed and agreed to go see it. But I wasn’t moving there!

Well, we went on Friday and let me say, despite it’s geographic location, this was our home. There was simply no question about it. It has almost everything I could ever list in “wants” for a house. We had an offer in on Saturday and by that night, it was accepted. September 30 close date for both our current house and our new one. That won’t be stressful at all! (Ha.) Before that though, we still have a lot to get through: inspection, appraisal, P&S, finalizing Edenfield Ave, etc. Things are always busy around here! But I feel really good about this decision. The house is in a great neighborhood, the boys can ride their bikes in the street, it’s perfect for trick-or-treating, and the bus stop is a 5 minute walk (they will go to Bennett-Hemenway, or Ben-Hem, 1 of 5 elementary schools in Natick). Our neighborhood is the second to last stop on the route. Ashton has two more years of preschool but the thought of him on a school bus is enough to turn me into a puddle of tears. Pushing that out of my mind right this instant.

I don’t know what I am going to do about Ashton’s preschool situation. He could technically stay where he is and drive with me a few days a week (his preschool is a mile from Bentley). Or I could find him a new one, along with a new pediatrician, new dentists, new grocery store, new everything. There are a lot of things to be figured out. Luckily, Jen is not one of them; she said she will make the trip and stay with us.

So that leaves just one more thing: my commute. The way I look at it is, this house is worth another 20 minutes of driving to get to. Sometimes I actually wish my drive to Bentley were longer so I could call my mom, finish a radio program, or just relax in the quiet time of being in between home and work. This house will give me that so for now, I’m staying positive about it.

Inspection is Friday. Crossing my fingers it all goes well and if it does, our hearts are going where the home is: Natick MA. Can’t believe it. Stay tuned!

This a true account of my evening yesterday. Before we get started, please note that I am replacing the word “poop” with the word “dirt” throughout what follows. So if I use the word “dirt”, I really mean “poop”, although if you are a pet owner or a parent you are likely immune to it anyway.

I think I mentioned awhile ago I started running again. I’ve been in a pretty regular routine for the past couple of months and I usually get home from work, change, and go out for a few miles before meeting the boys at the playground around 5:15 pm. Jen leaves and we stay and play until 6 pm when we head home for dinner.

So there we were next to the slide around 5:30 pm and I realize Ashton’s shorts are not only wet but his underwear is filled with dirt. Like, a lot of it. We’ll call this Mess #1. He is often guilty of being too busy playing to notice he has to go to the bathroom but this was ridiculous. Luckily I had spare underwear and wipes, so after asking another parent to watch Alex, we camped out behind a tree so I could clean up all the dirt. So. gross. I threw it all away, bye bye underwear. But I was mad too – Ashton knows better than to have accidents like that and lately he seems to have some potty-training regression going on. It gets worse.

We got home at 6:05 pm for dinner. The boys played for about ten minutes while I put their meal together. I plucked Alex away from the toys, washed his hands and dropped him in his highchair. I went back in to get Ashton and he was cowering in the corner. Guess what. MORE dirt in his underwear!! GRRRRR!! Time out while I clean Ashton up AGAIN and throw the dirty underwear into the basement for scrubbing later. Mess #2.

I made Alex an egg, and he had some chicken and fruit along with Ashton. I steamed some fresh cauliflower and melted cheese on it, thinking maybe I could get each boy to take one bite before they threw it in one direction or another. Alex did precisely that with one big swipe across his tray. To show extra dissatisfaction, he then spiked his milk cup on the floor, which popped open and spilled. Mess #3. Now, Ashton had been asking me incessantly about going to get ice cream after dinner so I bribed him with one bite. You know what is exhausting? Constantly trying to make a deal at dinnertime. “If you eat a carrot, I’ll give you a cookie.” “If you eat a carrot, I won’t wash your hair tonight.” And then further negotiations start – he’ll eat a sliver of that carrot, but only after I’ve cut it with the red knife, on his plate, while singing a song that I have to repeat twice and then twirl. Honestly, I’m so sick of it that I’ve stopped trying. I follow Ellyn Satters’ Division of Responsibility in Feeding and it’s been quite freeing. But last night I made him take a bite of the cauliflower in order to get ice cream and he just sat and cried. So there I was, all the dishes from dinner piled up in the sink with a sticky toddler and sobbing preschooler. We’ll call the general scene Mess #4.

6:50 pm – 7:15 pm. The ice cream store. Nothing bad happened until I took Alex out of his carseat when we got back home. I was corraling Ashton up the stairs into the house with Alex on my hip and announced it was bathtime. As I was opening the door, Alex bit me on the shoulder. HARD. I actually almost started to cry! What a mean little devil!

The next hour passed as it usually does – tons of bathwater on the floor (Mess #5), pajamas, stories and the wrestling matches that result whenever I get out their toothbrushes. Alex went to sleep and Ashton and I headed back downstairs. I started to clean up the kitchen while Ashton played and then after awhile he came running in: “I have dirt in my pants”. WHAT?! I checked and yep, soiled pants for the third time in as many hours. At this point I was, I’m not proud to say, livid. We marched upstairs, I changed him into new ones and he said “But these are wet.” I said, “No, they are not, I just pulled them out of your dresser! TIME FOR BED!”

I gave him his requested number of hugs and kisses and turned off the lights. Good night.

Three minutes later I heard his door pop open. His nightlight/clock was missing. It is always on the his bookshelf but nope, gone. I searched the entire upstairs and finally asked Ashton if he knew where it was. He told me he threw it into the big hole. What? The big hole ended up being the back of his closet. I fished it out, plugged it in, and turned around to see it: the puddle of pee on the floor. Alex roams diaper-free just before bathtime and he must have been the culprit. And I must have skimmed Ashton’s pajama pants in it without realizing, hence his claim that they were wet. Mess #6.

All was finally quiet, I went downstairs and Jason had just gotten home. I started to cry. I’ve had a bad cold so I didn’t feel good, was exhausted, sick of cleaning dirt out of Ashton’s underwear and in general, the two boys had beat me that night.

I said, “Well, I’ll be down in the basement scrubbing you-know-what…” and moved towards the door.

I have a real live actual KID. A kid who is about to start his second year of preschool, a kid who has boundless energy and enthusiam, a kid who is FOUR. He is growing pickles (really cucumbers) in the garden, his teeth get stinky if he doesn’t brush them, and if the answer to a question ever grants him permission to do something, he says “Yesssssssss.” I could propose any activity, any activity at all, and Ashton would jump up and down and say “Yeah! Let’s DO it!” Generally he is the most positive little person I know, except when he doesn’t get the snack he was expecting. Then he cries an absurd amount and it can be a little trying.

We had his 4 year pediatrician appointment last week and here are his stats:

Height: 43.25 inches. That’s 3.6 feet tall!
Weight: 43 pounds
Hair: blond and very straw-like. Crewcut by Jason.
Eyes: blue
Lucky underwear: the white ones with the airplanes
Shoe size: 10.5W
Clothes size: 5T (I swear I will really cry when his clothes no longer have a T after the number)
Shots: 2. Can’t remember exactly which ones, I think one was a MMR booster
Reward for the shots: Vanilla fro-yo with gummy bears
Favorite food: Anything resembling a complex carbohydrate
Preferred toy: Cars, cars, and more cars
Naps: 1 (Still! Shhh don’t jinx it)
Heading to preschool with the 4 year old class: Sept 2, 5 days a week until 12

Anyway with so much going on in life, the vacation on BI, the house stuff (update to come on that shortly), I did not put together anything remotely resembling a fancy party. There was no theme, no cake, and the day of, JASON was the one who asked me if I had favors for the kids. Uh, I didn’t. And when you throw a kid’s birthday party, all the kids are so into presents that they sure as heck better go home with something. I did a lot of errands on Saturday morning.

I had originally invited 7 of Ashton’s friends and only 4 ended up coming. But it turns out, when you add the siblings and parents that come with those 4 kids, it’s a lot! We had the perfect number and perfect weather. Add in a bounce house and a BBQ = perfect party 🙂

 Thanks to Holden, Emerson, Adrian and Jackson for helping us celebrate!

And nowwww it’s time forrrrr…my annual post about our summer vacation! The pictures and people, for the most part, stay the same (haha) – the boys just get bigger! Last year Alex was just a baby, snoozing in his carseat and laying there on a beach blanket all nice and clean. This year…boy did he just want in on the action. Shovels! Sand! Swimming! Both he and Ashton played their hearts out at the beach every single day. We simply had the best time, there’s nothing else to it. I got to go for some beautiful island runs, the men got up before sunrise to fish, Berg/Karen/Jayden came for a couple days and then Ben/Kari/Callie came for a couple days and overall, Ashton and Alex spent a perfect week in the sun with Grandma and Grandpa and GG. Oh, and we ate and drank really well. Oof.

This will come as a shock, but I have TONS of pictures. Very nearly an unmanageable amount. I’ve decided, for ease of your reading experience, to divide them into categories. Here we go.

1. Bugs

A huge bulk shopping trip is always necessary before hitting BI. The grocery store there is very expensive (and by expensive I mean $13 for a container of orange juice). So we like to go to BJ’s first and Jason came home with this in addition to what was on our food list.

I’m happy to say, no bugs lost their lives as a result of these backyard safaris. If you know any preschool age boys and need to get them a present, get them this. Ashton LOVED it. The vacuum gun may have had something to do with it.

Quite possibly the most bulky category. We went every day to the same spot at the same time. We dug a lot of holes. There was a lot of sand. The boys (and when I say boys I include all the men in our group) were very busy and rarely even looked up. The pictures are not award winning, but nonetheless…

Grandpa and the men got up several mornings before sunrise to go surfcasting. Personally, I slept. The one time we all went to the inlet for cocktail hour, Ashton caught a flounder. He was initially excited but then petrified and said “I don’t like flounder” about a hundred times over the next two days. (Incidentally, it was barely big enough to keep and despite life-saving efforts, it had unfortunately swallowed the hook so we took it home for Saturday night’s fish fry )

5. Birthdays

Let’s just say the fish (besides Ashton’s flounder) weren’t really biting last week so Jason and Ben hit the seafood market for Ashton and Callie’s joint birthday dinner on Saturday night. Now, ALL Callie had to do was be born 2 hours later and she and Ashton would have shared an August 3rd birthday. But nope, she came on August 2. Fiiiiiiiine. So she was turning 1 and Ashton was turning 4 so we threw them a mini-party.

Alex was upset not because it wasn’t his party but because I would not give him the dustpan. (What? He had no pile!)

It would figure that our last night was one of the most beautiful ones. We had an amazing dinner followed by a (shared) birthday cake and presents. Callie got new shoes, Ashton got a new Paw Patrol backpack and lunchbox, and all was right in the world.

5. Bye bye

Wow I’m sick of this post haha. Too many pictures! Too late now 😉 When I think of the memories I want Ashton and Alex to have of growing up, I hope there are always summer weeks on Block Island for them to look back fondly on. Ashton’s first official trip was 2013, then there was 2014, and this year I think he enjoyed it more than ever. At 4 years old his mind and his heart are totally open and his curiosity and zest for everything is just so…awesome.

To Block Island (and the Fagan House and Grandma and Grandpa and GG and Berg and Karen and Jayden and Ben and Kari and Callie) – we could not have had a better time. Thank you for another amazing week!! Much love, the Nills xx

Is anyone out there? Do I have any readers left?? In case I do, just a quick post to share two important things. First, we just spent the most amazing week on Block Island! We got back yesterday and to say we were all blue is an understatement. I think I said “Wow I can’t believe the week is over, I don’t want to go home!” like a hundred times. And I really didn’t! I felt worlds away and the only time I picked up my phone was to take pictures. No facebook, no emails, not even any texts really. I was too busy digging holes in the sand with the boys! It was revitalizing. Complete BI 2015 post to arrive in the next day or two.

Second, guess how old Ashton is today. Not one, two OR three. He’s FOUR. We threw a mini-party on BI for him and Callie (she turned one yesterday!) and Ashton was obsessed with the birthday “crowns”. Like literally has worn one for two days and this morning, trotted off to camp with the string firmly cinched under his chin.

He has been asking for about a month now if it’s his birthday yet and finally, FINALLY when he woke up I could tell him, “Guess what? Today is your birthday!” “Today? Today Mommy?! I’m four??!?!?!” Yes, August 3rd is here at last. Thank god.

Happy birthday Ashton! My favorite four year old on my favorite beach:

Two very important things in one picture 🙂 Be back soon!

Last July, I posted 3 times. Life just gets busy in the summer but let me say, this month has been some kind of record haha. It started when we went to Long Island for July 4th, and my car broke down on the way home. We had to get towed, I had to get an Uber for myself and the boys due to the tow truck not being able to take car seats and we landed at a Honda service place in West Warwick. The car was in RI for three days (we ultimately had to get a rental car to get home later that day), I managed to find time to drive back down to get it, it broke again on the way home, went into the shop up here and was out of commission another solid 5 days and then I finally just got it back last Friday, only to have my blinker light go out, which Jason had to go get fixed today, because my car needs to be inspected by 7/31 but we leave Sunday for Block Island and I do NOT want to get stuck with a ticket for that on top of everything else. <— (That was supposed to be one big run-on sentence. See how out of breath I am?) Of course, now we want our money back from the place in West Warwick and it is just this whole thing. 

In the 2.5 years that we’ve lived in our house, I am so proud of all the big things we have done. Jason deserves about 95% of the credit, having been the builder of our living room bench and bookshelves, fireplace, master closet, and back deck, not to mention our kitchen updates, half bath and dining room (whoops, still no post on that) and all the other little projects here and there. I typed “before and after” in the search bar on the right and there are a LOT of posts!

Anyway, those linked above are biggies, as is when we had our entire house painted last year. But the exterior project, along with our recent new driveway and walkway, are in a slightly different category because we had to hire someone to do it. We had a bumpy ride with our painter, let me tell you. And as it turned out, a bumpy ride with our paver too. But finally last week, our walkway and driveway were finished. We lost a little bit of grass but Jason was out there with some seed in no time. What is it with guys and their lawns.

Anyway.

Side by side before and afters on the walkway:

And then other direction, from the top of the porch.

Panorama attempt.

Looking up:

And then with another newer “before” picture.