Year: 2016

I didn’t think it could happen but it has. We are experiencing market saturation with Pete the elf and he is losing his effect.

On Monday afternoon, I let the boys play in my room with their Legos while I got ready for Jason’s employee holiday party. They scattered the pieces everywhere, I mean threw them all over the place. Because I was desperate for 5 minutes to do my hair, I allowed it but repeatedly warned them that pretty soon it was going to be time to clean up.

When that time came, I said, “Ok! Let’s pick all this up! Get the bucket, start scooping…” Ashton hemmed and hawed and let’s just say, over the course of 15 minutes, I asked him multiple times. Then I started to threaten.
“If you don’t pick up your Legos, ________________”. Blank was anywhere from “I won’t put a show on” to “no snack” to “you won’t be able to play Legos anymore” to “I’ll tell Pete” and eventually “I’LL TELL SANTA MYSELF!”

Nothing. Not even an attempt. I dropped Pete’s name like ten times too. I started to help Alex because he was really trying (we’re talking a thousand pieces here) and Ashton just sat and stared. After another several minutes, I finally started to yell and sent him to his room. I stomped downstairs and loudly said “PETE! Wait until I tell you what just happened!” and then grabbed his little elf body, shoved him in the cabinet out of sight and went back upstairs. I flung open Ashton’s door, more upset than he was, and said “Well! I hope you’re happy! Pete just left and I’m not even sure if he’s going to come back!”

At that point Ashton started to cry. YES, finally! I was getting through! [I mean, not that I LIKE when my kid cries! But the balance of power was so clearly off track in this situation that something needed to give!] I left Ashton in his room and when Alex and I had about three pieces left, Ashton poked his head in, wiped his tears and said he was ready to help. I said that would be great, thank you, and life was back in harmony.

But then a curious thing happened. Jen arrived, and I casually whispered to her to ask Ashton where Pete had gone. She did, and Ashton made up a story that was completely not what had happened, a story that of course placed no blame on him whatsoever. And then a little later on, her boyfriend Mike asked the same thing, and Ashton said it was because of Alex!

You can probably guess: Pete did not come back the next day, which was yesterday. I told the boys Pete was very upset by what had happened and Santa probably hadn’t decided what to do about it yet.

I did also tell Jason to ask Ashton what had happened to Pete, because Jason was at work when this all had gone down. Ashton’s answer was “Oh, Daddy! I don’t remember.”

&#(!@#$%^&**@%&!!!

So there we were, Pete was gone and Ashton seemed unfazed, despite my repeated overdramatic reminders that the Christmas situation was now dire. Truly jeopardized! Like coal-in-your-stocking, no-presents-at all danger.  All I wanted him to do was admit that Pete was gone because he didn’t pick up his Legos. But even when I pressed him, he would not. *#&$(&%~!

I know defeat when I see it and this was definitely that. Pete came back out after the boys went to bed. Sigh.

But then…this morning the boys came running in to our room when they woke up, asking if Pete had returned. I said I wasn’t sure. I told them Santa had called me last night (at which point Ashton’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates) and Santa said he was very upset that Ashton had not helped to pick up his Legos. I said, “Ashton, Jen, Mike and Daddy might not know the real reason Pete left, but Santa does.” Ashton looked down at his hands and said, “I know Mommy. It was because of me.” And then, very resolutely, “It will not happen again. Santa really called? Yes he must know. I’m sorry.”

Sometimes you gotta bring in the big guns. My next strategy was to actually have my boss call him and pretend to be Santa, but at the moment there is no need (still 4 days to go though- keeping that in my back pocket). For now, Christmas is back on!

Let me tell you the story about the swashbuckling good times we have had this year as they relate to our tree.

First we went to Home Depot to find it. It was Monday night last week and they had about 4 little guys laying around helplessly. It was clear our tree was not going to be there so we left pretty fast and headed over to Tilly’s, a local farm stand type joint where a lot of people get their tree around here. It was such a cute spot, and we picked out a huge one! Look at this puppy! It was a 10 footer and this is Jason realizing we waaay overestimated our ceiling height.

So we had to cut it. We laid it out on the coffee table and out came the tools.

Alex’s saw really made a difference, as you’ll see in this video. I mean, thank goodness for the safety helmet.

How many Nills does it take to set the trunk?

All Ashton and Alex knew was that Daddy was underneath there doing something and they felt compelled to “help”. That happens a lot.

We got the tree all situated and the next night we went to put the lights on and…half of them were out. So Jason went out to Lowes and we decided to upgrade to LEDs. My friends, I hated these lights. They were like, so ugly. Look, my phone couldn’t even register them to take a picture.

 But I didn’t say anything and we got all our ornaments on and I just stole Jason’s phone to document 😀

I mean it wasn’t perfect.

A little beach trip gone bad. Poor bear.

In fact we have another smaller tree in the front (just with plastic balls on it) that I let the boys decorate 100% themselves. The ornaments are all globbed together but I have not moved a single one from where they placed it.

In the middle of the night, we frequently hear balls falling off and bouncing across the floor lol. The boys, they aren’t the most secure ornament hangers the world has ever seen.

Back to the other tree. You can guess what happened. I couldn’t hold it in and eventually blurted out that I thought our tree was ugly. To my surprise, Jason agreed! You’re going to think we’re crazy but…we took all the ornaments off, changed the lights, and put all the ornaments back on ha!

So much better. The light is a lot warmer and it just looks better. If you’re going to do a tree, do it right. Speaking of, how do you know if you got the right tree to begin with? It can be intimidating walking on to a big lot with all kinds of sizes and shapes. We interviewed one tree and it went like this.

Me: First of all, you realize you cost 25% more than your Home Depot counterparts.
Christmas Tree: Well, I have 25% more body. Do you like it scrawny or do you like it brawny? Ask yourself.
Me: Where are you from?
CT: Page 11 in the Polar Express.

Me: So you’re not afraid of the dark? What about the lean wolves on the previous page?
CT: I just stay really still and they don’t bother me.
Me: How many ornaments do you think you can hold?
CT: I bench at least 160.
Me: Angel or star?
CT: Star.
Me: WRONG! The answer is neither. You get a Santa hat.
CT: You are sooo tricky.
Me: I know.
Me: Describe your thoughts on being hog tied and roped to the top of a car.
CT: A nice warm up to having my undercarriage clipped and then being squeezed to death by dozens of strands of lights.
Me: Does it bug you that you were 10’3 and we cut you down to 9’1?
CT: No but I will now ooze extra sap and drop a bunch of pine needles just as you have finished vacuuming. Heh heh heh.
Me: If you could be anything besides an evergreen, what would you be?
CT: A lean wolf.
Me: What do you say to the reports that claim you are infested with 25,000 bugs?
CT: Google “how much bacteria is on a human body” and get back to me.
Me: What will you do when you see Santa?
CT: Probably just stand there.
Me: Do you know that people have been decorating trees for Christmas for hundreds of years? It seems kind of a silly thing to do, doesn’t it?
CT: So does ear piercing.
Me: What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
CT:
Me: A pineapple!
CT:
Me: Ok last question. Where are you going after this?
CT: You tell me.

Overall this tree was not hired. Sarcasm and condescension are not attractive qualities when it comes to balsam firs. Luckily the next one was a delight, talking about her hopes and dreams for Rockefeller Center and her love of being dressed to the nines. She is in the corner this very minute twinkling away. Not *really* twinkling, I don’t do flashing lights, but you know what I mean 🙂

This is just a quick post so I can look back when I’m 80 and remember that at one point, Jason and I still had it 😉 We got all dressed up for the Brae Burn gala last weekend and I think we turned out pretty good!

IT HAS BEGUN. Pete the elf has arrived safely from the North Pole, our tree is up, our mantel is decorated, outside lights are strung, the holiday crafts and activities are in full swing and Amazon boxes are arriving by the truckload. Welcome to December!!

Technically we kicked it all off November 30. Kayleigh and Ariane came over and we decorated gingerbread houses.

We left them on the table that night where Pete could see them.

Let’s talk about Pete the elf. He is a huge presence in our house and I would be lying if I said I was not ridiculously excited for his arrival. A lot of parents are like “oh we don’t like to hold good or bad behavior over our kids’ heads at Christmas, just make it be a fun thing” blah blah blah well screw that!! Most of the time the boys don’t listen to what I say or do what I ask. But with Pete around? Stark raving obedience, that’s what.

“Better pick up your Legos.” OK MOMMY!
“Please come wash your hands before dinner.” OK MOMMY!
“Can you get ready for tubby?” OK MOMMY!
“Let’s get your shoes on.” OK MOMMY!
I don’t even have to add “Pete is watching” anymore! And it’s not limited to my requests. The other day the boys started to argue and wrestle over something and Ashton instantly stopped, sheepishly looked up to where Pete was perched and said “NO Ow-wex (Alex), we can’t do this right now!”

I love Pete. For the month of December, I deserve this glorious gift of Santa’s scout elf. He arrives on December 1 and this year he brought a Lego advent calendar (thanks Papa and GG!) and a christmas book. See him there on the left? In the light?

Here is the video of the morning of December 1 of the boys discovering him (if you care, lol). The night before, they knew Pete would be coming and while Ashton was out of his mind with the thrill of it all, Alex was scared stiff. I mean, almost crying. He kept saying “I don’t like Pete” “I don’t want him to come in my room” etc etc. He clearly dealt with his feelings the next morning by calling him “poopyhead” or some variation of it. They are friends now.

This is the letter Pete left.

It launched a full on obsession and Jen told me the next day that she actually made Ashton take a break from talking about him.

If you’ll recall, Pete goes up to report to Santa every night and each morning is resting in a new spot. He periodically brings back a gift or a craft. (Last night in an attempt to get the kids in bed, I said “Maybe if Pete likes our tree enough he will bring back something special from Santa! Let’s go to sleep so Pete can leave for the North Pole!” They settled down well enough and while we did remember to move Pete, I did not leave out the holiday pajamas as I intended to. This morning Ashton bounded downstairs, located Pete but looked around and said, in the most forlorn voice, “I don’t see anything. I guess Pete didn’t like our tree.” My heart very nearly broke. I’ll have to save the day with a note tomorrow.)

So that’s the tour de force that is Pete. Between all his drama and excitement we went to the Home Depot Kids Workshop and made an ugly “candy dish” where the main instruction was simply to get paint everywhere.

I even had paint under my chin by the time we were done. Thanks Home Depot!

Next up…all about our Christmas tree. We have an intense selection process and I’ll be sharing all of our interview questions, physical requirements and performance capabilities that a fir must meet to stand tall in our house. Oh yes, it’s that serious!!

We had THE most wonderful Thanksgiving weekend! We truly did. It was a bit wild at times, specifically when I was casually peeling beets and chatting with Karen in the middle of Jason’s kitchen tornado. If you’ve ever hosted Thanksgiving, you know those last 15 minutes are a flurry: things are coming out of every direction to converge on the buffet, the oven and fridge open and close a thousand times, serving dishes need utensils, the sink piles up with dishes and pots and scraps, everyone needs more wine…and if you know Jason, he does this for a living, so an innocent beet-peeler such as myself, who doesn’t “appreciate” the urgency involved with 15 minutes until service, will get the boot. Literally.

Besides THAT, it all went incredibly smoothly food-wise. Our turkey was gobbling pretty much right up until we got him (her? Oh gosh! We’ll never know, will we? Bet you have never thought about that!). It was a 28 pound, free range, organic, all-the-credentials kind of bird. Jason brined it on Tuesday…

EQUALLY as important as the turkey was my tablescape in my opinion. As you know we just finished our dining area so this was our first meal around it. We had 9 grownups total: Me, Jason, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Lizzie, Uncle Chris, Aunt Karen*, Uncle Berg* and Uncle Bob*.

(*honorary)

There were also 4 kids so it was definitely busy! I didn’t get any group shots but the “before” table looked like this!

I love me some faux decorative gourds with sparkles on them:)

Besides the turkey and gravy, we of course had the best mashed potatoes anyone has ever had (THEY HAD CREAM CHEESE IN THEM), Ina’s apple/herb/sausage stuffing (I always make that), Bobby Flay’s chipotle sweet potatoes (also unbelievable), Karen brought a green bean casserole and we also made roasted brussels sprouts with pancetta, a butternut squash bread pudding, and I did the beets in our crockpot! I tossed them with an orange zest/juice/thyme sauce after they came out and I have to say, they were awesome. Beets-in-the-slow-cooker FOREVER! See foreground:

They were like shining jewels. I love beets 😀

Here are a few random shots from the day. Still waiting for Grandma to upload her pictures so I can steal some. I didn’t get that many

Oh, and this is me, about 9:30 pm.

I was tiiiii-ERD! I missed the whole game of Cards Against Humanity. Probably lucky for them I was asleep because I would have won.

If Grandma has a group photo I will update this post with it – we had a wonderful fabulous lovely time. I would not have changed a thing.

So that’s a wrap on Thanksgiving. Christmas of course is in full swing and Ashton literally hops around the house with excitement. Pete the Elf! Advent calendars! Gingerbread houses! Toy catalogs! It’s only December 2, stick with me, there is a LOT to cover this month!!

Well it was that lovely fall time of year when the colors are all out and every family including us wants to capture happy faces amongst pretty leaves. So capture we did. Well, our photographer did (at Wellesley College). Don’t get me wrong, I’m always happy that we have these photos in the end, but getting there is such a pain in the you-know-what. You want your outfits to be complementary, but not match exactly. Natural smiles, not forced. Candid, but not staged. And you’ll promise your kids just about anything (A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.) if they don’t scowl for the next 30 minutes.

So you get through it, the coaxing and the bribing and the cold fingers and constantly smoothing your hair from the wind. And then…you get the photos back a few weeks later (after they have been professionally edited, mind you). There is simply no hiding from the number of lines around your eyes and the realization that your teeth are not as white as you thought. And you don’t know what you were thinking when you chose that jacket to wear (frump alert).

Luckily, you don’t need that many good ones. Our photographer gave us more than 150 images and after weeding through the closed eyes, the frowns and the bad angles, here are my favorites.

First the boys. They are the main reason I drag everyone out to do this each year. I simply can’t capture anything like these photos and cherish them.

A few family shots:

I kind of felt like most of our pictures were the four of us looking straight at the camera (see above note about candids), but I was easily able to build my Christmas card and since that’s the most important thing ever in life, it’s fine. Jason and I each got a few headshots taken (see above note about learning what you really look like) and that was it for the session! CariAnne Kreml was lovely too. Now, off to order my personalized pillowcases and coffee mugs…or maybe just some prints 😉

First of all, far more important than a new place to eat is the fact that I have a new nephew! Holden Taylor Brayden was born last Thursday weeeeeee!! I can’t wait to (take a solo trip to Colorado and) meet him! Here he is, in one of Alex’s old outfits 🙂

Before…

After!

Going way back, this was the night we moved in…

And this is now:

YAY! Let’s talk about the project! 

We began knowing that we were going to build a bench seat under the windows. It was a good space saver and gave us a guide for how big a table we needed (most days, we will just have three chairs on one side and the bench on the other- the armchairs on the ends will live in the basement). We also knew we wanted a pedestal or trestle table in order to avoid people hitting table legs as they slid in and out of the bench. 

Ultimately we chose this table. We waited over 2 months to get it and I am in love. Here’s a better shot of it by itself:

This table was selected for one very important reason: it is distressed. And since it is already imperfect, I cared slightly less when THE BOYS TOOK THEIR TOY TOOLS AND PRACTICED SAWING ON THE EDGE.

Yep, I barely batted an eye. See? It blends right in. *grits teeth*

Let’s go over something that makes me much happier and that is my token DIY project: the faux roman shades. 

The color is a green stripe, hard to tell. I followed this tutorial for the most part, but used hot glue for the seams. It was so simple! You basically cut your fabric, glue the sides, glue a loop at the top, and then glue the bottom to the loop to make one continuous piece.

(Jason intentionally made sure my wine glass was in that picture.)

Then, you put the whole thing up with tension rods (Target), adjust them as you go to get the drape how you want it. See how I have them in this picture? They are going across on the two little windows at the top.

Anyway, I unintentionally made things more complicated (don’t I always?) by picking a fabric with stripes that needed to line up. So that was a big pain. In the end though I love the finished product.

Back to the actual building of everything, of course that goes to Jason. We special ordered the cabinets for the sides but he did the rest! The platforms, the faux walls on each end, the lights, the bench…

And then yesterday, paint paint paint. All the trim and windows were like a cream. If you recall the mudroom, you know I love me some nice white trim. See the difference?

Trust me it was big. After all the painting, Jason cleaned up all his tools, we vacuumed, put the cushions on…voila.

Left to do: hang artwork on the walls and fill the cabinets with all our glassware. I also can’t wait to set the table for Thanksgiving, it is going to be beautiful!

General notes: we got pretty much everything from Pier 1 – the side chairs, arm chairs, cushions and rug. The bench cushion especially was a tough call for us because to have one custom made would have been $550+, including the cost of the fabric. Pier 1 made a great boxed cushion for $80, so we bought two and added a pillow to the ends to make up the extra inches we needed. I think it works! We also bought an extra side chair, we can technically seat 10 now with 4 on each side. 

One last before…

and after!

Ashton has turned into a little drawing machine. He made me a very nice birthday card that he claimed “only had the rainbow on it because he loved me”. He likes to do representations of what he thinks our family looks like and lately has been recreating important scenes in his life. He gave me this last night.

“Mommy! Let me tell you what this is. This is me right here, see? In the middle. And then this is my dinner on the counter that I’m eating. Yes, that’s my dinner and this, on my other side, is the cabinet with my Halloween candy in it. And I’m telling you that I am all done with my dinner and I really, REALLY want a special treat from the cabinet and here is you and you are not happy and you are saying no to the candy because I didn’t eat any dinner and you spent a lot of time making it. You really are not happy, see Mommy? See? This is you.”

To ease your understanding, here is the decoded version.

I mean I was a bit speechless at first. But then, it’s based on a true story, so I put it on the fridge and started to make dinner, thinking I already knew how things were going to turn out.

Well, we’ve gone and done it. We’ve turned the clocks back which, as any mother will attest, spells doom. NOT ONLY do the playground trips and bike rides after work cease entirely, but all of a sudden we have newly minted “early risers”. It’s a vicious cycle because, at least with my kids, after it has been dark for 3 hours I am ready to put them to bed, even though it is barely 7:15. Kids only need so much sleep, so 6:00 am and BAM! Loud mouth breathing straight into your face by two expectant children wearing dinosaur pajamas. Long gone are the 8:30 pm – 7:30 am days. The darkness shifts everything earlier because there is flat out NOTHING TO DO. For months.

But we’ve had a few things going on in the three days since this catastrophe. Jason and I hit the Giants game on Sunday with Evan and Kaelyn and Chera and Eric. It was a bright sunny day (but I had a zillion layers on) and perfect for tailgating and football!

We left the boys with Grandma and Grandpa allllllll daaaaaaaaay (insert fireworks and cheering). Actually it was funny, on Sunday morning Jason and I were heading out, packing up the final car stuff and Alex came running over to me. I bent down because I thought he wanted a goodbye hug, but he pushed me and said “Go ‘way Mommy!”  I was like geez, I’m going, I’m going! I guess the feeling was mutual 😉 But the boys got to go to McDonald’s for lunch, on the big carousel in Greenport, and spent time with their cousin Owen who they love. Bedtime songs with Grandma:

The Giants game turned out to be an important one (who knew?) and they won, so everyone was quite happy.

We rolled on home on Monday and Jason started up on the dining room built-ins…

Things are looking good. Our new dining room table got delivered today, FINALLY! I have only been waiting for ten weeks. Thanksgiving is around the corner and that is our deadline to get this all ship shape and magazine-like. [The (temporary) salvation with the time change is that you’re distracted by all the holiday stuff coming up. I don’t become suicidal until January.]

And then of course, yesterday was election day. I was at the polls at 7:03 am and it was hoppin’! I got my sticker, took an obligatory selfie, told Facebook I voted and went off to work.

Today I woke up to discover that we picked Donald Trump to be our next president. I really have nothing further to say about that except he will be in office the next time we change the clocks. There is a lot to survive between now and then (and of course, in the next 4 years overall). But, one season at a time.

[WARNING: Halloween is filed under “Major, MAJOR Holidays” in our house and as such, this post will be a monster.]

Madness to the Nth degree. That’s what last night was. You want to know the funniest part? I don’t think either kid ate a single piece of candy. It’s like the treats were secondary; tearing through the neighborhood after dark with their friends whilst wearing a superhero costume is all it took. We’re talking bona fide frenzy.

So here are the boys, right before they completely lost their minds.

Ashton struck that pose on his own, by the way. Maybe that’s how Captain America sits leisurely, I wouldn’t know.

But let’s back up. The Halloween prep this year was ridiculous. A week ago we went to our neighbor’s party. Then last Saturday was the Natick Spooktacular, Sunday was Brae Burn’s kids’ Halloween, Monday was Ashton’s school parade and wait, don’t forget the pumpkins! I’d like to say we went to a pumpkin patch and cut them off the vine like true pioneers, but the truth is they were $4.99 at BJ’s and it was too good of a deal.

On Sunday afternoon Kayleigh and her mom (our neighbors) came over and we all got to work scooping out the guts and drawing our faces.

Done! The dress rehearsal:

From left to right: Kayleigh’s puppy, Alex’s smiley one, my nervous nelly and Ashton’s dental nightmare.

Now, let’s get to the costumes. It started about a month ago when I began encouraging cute complementary ideas. I thought it would be nice to give Alex a day in the sun and have him go as Batman and Ashton go as Robin. No? Santa and an elf? How about Mario and Luigi? Woody and Buzz Lightyear? I mean, for Pete’s sake, what good are kids if you can’t dress them up on Halloween. Ashton warmed to the idea of coupling up with Alex only if he could be a pumpkin and Alex could be the seeds. Uh, next.

For awhile after that, Ashton wanted to be some kind of dragon/ghost combination. Specifically, a half of each. Then, he thought he could go as a lightbulb. After that, a witch (I corrected him, “You mean warlock” and he said “No, I mean witch.”). Finally, they settled on the most original costumes ever in the history of little boys on Halloween: superheroes. Captain America and Spiderman, to be specific.

As an aside, superhero worship amongst kids is a real thing. The thought is that children sometimes struggle with their vulnerability and lack of strength and superheroes, by contrast, are extraordinary and powerful, they get the bad guy and they always win. Especially with boys, it is so easy to see why they love dressing up as these characters. People need them to “save the day” and they get to pretend to do so, which can really give their confidence a boost. The boys smiled so big every time they put on their costumes. They raced around striking poses and flexing their “muscles”:

The night broke down as follows. We had our new awesome friends come over (Ashton and Elijah are both 5 (they met at camp) and Alex and Crosby are both 2) for round 1.

They were off like rockets as soon as we blew the whistle (metaphorically speaking). My pictures all look like this.

Round 1 was a blur. Perhaps because I had (hot cider + bourbon) in my travel mug 😀 But honestly, the boys ran around at full throttle. Ashton took off his mask at one point and said, “I can’t wear this anymore Mommy, there’s too much water in it.” (Um it was sweat.)

Around 7:15 pm we regrouped at the house, our friends said goodbye and I tried to serve the boys some semblance of dinner (BAHAHAHA, as if they could focus on anything at all). 7:45 pm? Round 2 baby! We hit a different corner of the neighborhood and the decorations were pretty impressive.

The new thing seems to be this little device:

It is FRIGGIN’ CREEPY. For example, if your house is totally blacked out and you put this on one of your windows, people outside will see this:

See Ashton’s dazed look? Halloween wore him out good.

Same with Alex. On our way home from Round 2, he just stopped and laid down in the middle of someone’s driveway. Really, he did.